


Pardon my heart, love [for it unwittingly fell]

by DewingedAngel



Category: VIXX
Genre: I will talk about the tws in the notes, I wrote him as October cause Siwol sounded kinda weird to me lol, M/M, One Punch is there, Sanghyuk is an interning veterinarian, So is October, Taekwoon is a pretty famous solo singer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-09-24 16:10:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20361352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DewingedAngel/pseuds/DewingedAngel
Summary: Sanghyuk has a routine that he follows to a T. That is, of course, until Taekwoon just drops into his life out of nowhere and makes him want to spill everything.If you ask Sanghyuk, he'll say Taekwoon is a whacko.





	Pardon my heart, love [for it unwittingly fell]

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, there. 
> 
> I, uh, this is a luck fic. 
> 
> It's something I adapted out of a tweet. 
> 
> It was supposed to be a Princess Margaret AU with some forbidden dating and stuff, and although, yes, there is some forbidden dating involved, you'll only get it in the end lol.
> 
> Ah, there may be some trigger warnings all over. Sanghyuk's character is suffering from a lot of mental disturbances, so please tread carefully. Its mainly paranoia and a little bit of panic.
> 
> Its mostly fluff. I didn't want to make the two suffer too much :c 
> 
> Oh, one more thing is that its my first ever Luck fic and I'm not sure I got their dynamic right. I mostly write chasang, so you can see its a bit of a leap for me. 
> 
> Please don't blame me if the characters are ooc :/ I tried my best :/ 
> 
> Do tell me if I can do something to better it, though. I wouldn't mind that as long as it's mentioned in a nice way and not in an admonishing way.

_ 6:17 pm, Saturday _

It's raining. 

It's raining when they first meet, but the only thing running in Sanghyuk's head is that it's raining, and he's stuck, alone — not exactly, there's all the animals that have been left at the clinic for care — in the clinic because Dr Park said she had something come up and he hates it. 

He hates how gloomy it is. He hates how unlit the roads are, how even the skies seem to be crying out for some relief, for some light. He hates how depressing the rain makes him feel. Most of all, he hates it because it reminds him of that night from five years ago that ripped his identity away, as if tearing a single leaf out of a whole book left it whole ever again. He's not an empty shell, no, but he isn't whole either.

Its only in moments when he's left alone with nothing to distract him that he succumbs to his thoughts wandering away to remind him of the little details that had been piling up that day, all of which should have been enough of a warning, but his tired mind and body had blatantly ignored all the signs. And his life ended up being turned upside down.

Sanghyuk sighs as his head falls forehead down onto his work table. He absently runs his fingers through One Punch's — it was one of four pups that had been brought in for adoption and Sanghyuk had fallen in love, so he'd begged Dr Park on his knees to keep her — fur as she shifts in her sleep. He just wants to go back to the safety of his place.

The small bell tied above the door jingles just as the door is thrown open and the sound of the thunder crackles even harder than earlier, a blinding bolt of lightning throwing light at all the dark corners. Sanghyuk lifts his head up to find a man with his hoodie down and dripping water down onto the carpeted floor — Sanghyuk automatically hates anybody who makes a mess, ugh — and a bundle of what appears to be fur sticking out from beneath a blanket.

Sanghyuk jumps to his feet — was the guy crazy? The poor dog was shivering. What was he doing letting it soak through to its bones? — and immediately takes the dog out of the equally sopping wet man's hands, all the while sending him a glare for one, disturbing his self hatred hours, two, putting the poor dog in that condition and three, he's still dripping onto the carpeted floor that Sanghyuk vacuumed only three hours earlier. 

He lays the dog down on a towel he gets out from one of the drawers and proceeds to pat it dry. One Punch comes closer to take a sniff. He notices that the dog's heart rate is much higher than normal and he turns towards — the owner? just a random passerby? — with a questioning look.

"October ate some chocolates. Oh God, will he be okay? I know dogs aren't supposed to eat chocolates," The owner comes closer, falls on his knees and puts a hand close to where the dog — October, seriously,  _ what _ sort of a  _ name _ — lays and outright sobs. 

Sanghyuk clears his throat. "I need you to answer some questions with a clear mind, please," 

The man nods.

"How many chocolates?" 

"Three out of a box. I should have been more careful. I'd only gone to the washroom and when I came back, the box had been toppled and October was munching on one. I should have taken October with me damn it," he laments.

Sanghyuk wants to comment on how that would have been traumatising for October, even more traumatising than his name, but ignores it. "Has he vomited since then?" 

"Yes, twice," the man looks up at Sanghyuk with glassy eyes. "Is that bad?" 

"That's a good thing, actually. That's his body's way of rejecting harmful stuff," He picks out a fresh bowl and fills it with some water. Placing it near October, he pets him once and makes sure he drinks some. Dehydration is never good. 

The man heaves a sigh of relief at that. 

"I will give him a shot in any case. And we will need to keep him overnight for observation. Will that be okay?" 

"Yes," The man hesitates. "Can I stay over?"

"I'm sorry, that's against the rules. Non staff cannot enter the back area. Also," Sanghyuk observes, "as you seem to be allergic to animals, I wouldn't recommend it,"

The man looks up at him, confused. "I'm not allergic to animals,"

Sanghyuk frowns. "Then why the mask?" There's a mask covering the entirety of the man's nose and mouth.

The man simply looks at him silently as if that's answer enough. 

He sighs. "Alright, please tell me your name. It's the first time you've come to our clinic, so I would need October's vaccination history as well as any other information you might want to give. And your name. We will need to input it into our records," 

The man's silence grows until Sanghyuk raises an eyebrow at him pointedly, his fingers already poised in front of the keyboard and he shakes his head slightly before replying. "It's Le— Taekwoon," 

Now, Sanghyuk may not be well versed in the language, but he knows enough French to know what Le means and he's beyond shocked. Did the man just call himself  _ The _ Taekwoon? He shrugs as he enters the name. It's none of his business. 

"Alright then, Mr Le Taekwoon," he emphasizes the Le, "here's the bill. You can pay it either right now or tomorrow when you come to collect October. Dr Park will be in tomorrow, so she will be able to give you a more comprehensive report. I'm still an intern, after all."

He's already moving into the back room with October when the man calls out for him to wait, but he needs to get the dog to safety first so he simply nods at him and goes to the back. 

When he comes back out, the man is gone and so is  _ his _ umbrella — he swears to everything the man holds dear he will not let him go the next time he sees him — but there's a small note on his work table.

_ I'm so sorry, I should probably wait but I'm shivering and I really need to go home and take these clothes off. This is the only umbrella that I can see. I swear I will return it to you tomorrow.  _

And then there's a drawing at the side. Sanghyuk just isn't sure if its meant to be a cat or some sort of an infinity image with horns and tiny legs. 

He's in half a mind to go chasing the man, but he looks outside and it's not raining any more. 

It's not raining.

  
  
  
  
  


↛↚

  
  
  
  
  


_ 9:53 pm, Monday _

It's late.

It's late and the second time they meet, Sanghyuk isn't expecting it in the least. He's on his way back home from university. He's had a long day and all he wants is to get back to the safety of what he's learned to call home in the five years that he's spent there. It doesn't feel like it yet, but at least it's safe. Its safe. It's almost ten and he wants to be safe. 

His hoodie is pulled low, his head down, his earphones blasting loud music in his ears and his eyes trained only on the road he's walking on. He stays away from the unlit areas of the street. Even with his attention solely on his way back, he's aware of his surroundings. He's learnt to be. He cannot let the paranoia get the best of him. He will not let it.

What alerts him to something being awry is the way his heart starts to beat faster by the second and he's a minute away from suffering from heart failure when a hand lands on his shoulder. Sanghyuk immediately manoeuvres is such a way that the person is then beneath him and Sanghyuk has his arms pinned above his head and he's sitting on his chest. He knows he's heavy enough to knock the very air out of the man if he pleases. 

The man sputters. And wheezes out a cough.

Sanghyuk frowns as he lets go. He recognises the mask. "Le Taekwoon?" 

The man nods frantically. 

Sanghyuk mutters an apology before climbing off of him and offering a hand to get him standing back up on his feet. "Do not ever creep up on me again, Mr Le Taekwoon," 

"Lesson learnt," The man sends him a glare as he runs across his chest and breathes in deep a few times. "I've been trying to catch your attention for like, ten minutes already," 

Sanghyuk smiles at him sheepishly. "Ah, my bad," he removes his ear phones. He's much too aware of the time running, but he doesn't want to seem rude. Can he just leave? "Did you want something?" 

"I came to return your umbrella," He all but pushes the object unto Sanghyuk's chest. "And my name is not Le Taekwoon. It's just Taekwoon, Jung Taekwoon," 

"I need to get going," Sanghyuk nods in the general direction of his home. His getting home is definitely more of a necessity than not seeming rude. "Thank you, Mr Taekwoon," 

He's almost turned away when Taekwoon poses a question that stumps him.

"Hey doctor, why are you wearing a hoodie in the summer?" 

It's a valid question. No sane person would ever want to bring themselves to that predicament. But Sanghyuk's situation isn't exactly normal, and he isn't inclined to making it known either. 

"Why are you wearing that mask like a wannabe celebrity?" 

Taekwoon watches Sanghyuk with a piercing gaze. "You really don't know, do you?" His voice is full of wonder, a little disbelief, his eyes narrow.

"I don't know what, exactly?" 

"Never mind," Taekwoon is the one to turn away then.

When he's walking towards his home, Taekwoon is somehow falling into step beside him and he looks up, questioning. 

"I live that way as well," 

It's still late.

It's still late, but at least he's not alone.

  
  
  
  
  


↛↚

  
  
  
  
  


_ 4:27 pm, Friday _

Its cool.

Its uncharacteristically cool for summer, the third time they meet, and Sanghyuk is at the park, One Punch a little ways from him and yapping at low lying flowers she found in the grass. He smiles when she wags her tail at him and reaches for the camera he's got hanging around his neck. 

Taking pictures is something he'd started for the sole purpose of documenting his new life. He simply finds it all a little cathartic, a little therapeutic. Capturing any and everything — big or small — gives him the grim satisfaction that even if one day, it was all to be ripped away from him again, he'd have the memories trapped in photographs. And nobody could take that away from him.

If there's one thing he wishes for, its to one day at least have somebody he would feel special enough to want to commit to memory, to document in the little scrap book he keeps in a drawer in his bedside table. It's a fantasy, one he knows will probably not get fulfilled anytime soon. 

He's clicking away at the kids playing tag some distance away when he notices the man. It's almost as if the man sidles right into his line of sight on purpose. Sanghyuk smiles behind the camera. At least, he isn't sneaking up on him.

"So you like taking pictures, then?" October is with him. 

"So you like stalking me, then?" 

Taekwoon huffs indignantly. "I'm not stalking you. What do you take me for?" 

"A stalker," Sanghyuk simply replies as he snaps a shot of One Punch and October chasing each other. Its cute. 

"I only came to walk October," Taekwoon crosses his arms across his chest and pouts into the distance. 

"How come you're always popping from somewhere? Don't you have more important things? What about your job?"

Taekwoon averts his eyes. "My work is pretty flexible that way. I work on my own terms,"

"That must be nice,"

Silence falls in between them, but it isn't uncomfortable. Together they watch the people in the park going about their businesses. 

"You know, doctor," Taekwoon starts and Sanghyuk hums in response, a signal for him to continue. "It's not fair that you know my name and I don't know yours," 

Sanghyuk turns away from where his attention was drawn towards a bee sucking nectar from a plump hibiscus flower to face Taekwoon, "Maybe I want you to continue addressing me doctor," Names are powerful. He cannot simply give it away on a silver platter to a near stranger, even if its different from what it used to be, even when it means nothing to him.

Taekwoon sighs. "You won't ever cut me some slack, will you, doctor," 

"Well, I don't know anything about you, do I?" 

Taekwoon appraises him with a frown, and then nods. "I guess that's true. Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me, then?" 

Sanghyuk means to decline. He has a "no" at the tip of his tongue. Maybe it's the hope in Taekwoon's eyes that makes him back track, or maybe it's the way he's tentatively smiling, and because Sanghyuk is mad; really, really mad. "Okay, sure,"

It's still uncharacteristically cool.

It's still cool, and yet, he's feeling warm from the inside anyway.

  
  
  
  
  


↛↚

  
  
  
  
  


_ 5:17 pm, Wednesday _

It's crowded.

It's crowded, and the fourth time they are set to meet, Sanghyuk decides he should stop keeping track. Frankly, it's a little tiring, if he's being honest. 

Sanghyuk likes crowds. He likes how unimportant they make him feel. He loves how much of a stranger to himself he feels like. He enjoys the inattention, of all the people around being busy enough to not warrant a second look at him. No questioning glances, no pitiful sighs. As much as it makes him feel lonely, he really, really doesn't mind. 

Its beautiful, the feeling of getting lost among the myriads of faces, and just being one among them, not being the one they are looking at. There is never a silent moment and it helps him calm his rapidly beating heart. No harm can come his way when there are so many around him. 

"Hey, doctor," Taekwoon breathes hard as he wheezes out a greeting. He's clutching his side and his nose is scrunched. It must be a stitch. The mask is, as always, present. There's even a cap pulled low.

"Hello, Mr Taekwoon," Sanghyuk jumps off the ledge he'd sat himself on. "You're right on time,"

"I had noticed how much importance you gave to punctuality," Taekwoon smiles, it reaches his eyes. "You keep glancing at your wrist watch. Its hard to not notice,"

Sanghyuk is surprised. He hadn't known it was obvious. It's a simple routine, his. He's learnt to make sure everything goes according to plan every single second. He doesn't let it stray. "Thank you," 

Taekwoon's smile grows. "Don't you think you're being too formal, calling me Mr Taekwoon? How about calling me hyung?"

"Why should I?" 

"Because I'm older, of course,"

"Age is just a number, Mr Taekwoon," 

"Oh, come on,"

Sanghyuk grins. As fun as it is to rile the other up, he's not a sadist. "Okay, hyung," 

They step into a cafe, something Taekwoon says he frequently visits, somewhere not extremely crowded. It's a small place, away from the hub of the city center. 

Sanghyuk is hesitant at first, what with the place being so quaint and silent, but it's cozy. He likes it. He orders some tea. Changing every other thing still did not take away his lactose intolerance.

"I like children. A lot. My nephew is the best thing ever. Minyul is amazing, I'll take you to meet him someday," Taekwoon says as he takes a sip of his latte and settles into the cushions. 

"What?" Sanghyuk isn't expecting it. 

"You didn't want to tell me your name because you said you didn't know me," Taekwoon smiles. He's taken his mask off, and Sanghyuk has to admit it's a very nice smile. "So, I'm telling you about myself,"

Sanghyuk frowns. 

Taekwoon holds his hand up, palm facing Sanghyuk. "Nu-uh, before you say anything, this is by no means something I'm forcing you into. If you want to, if you feel comfortable enough, you can share. I'm telling you because I want to," 

Sanghyuk doesn't know if it's fair to Taekwoon, but he isn't one to give false expectations. So he simply nods.

"I used to play soccer back in highschool. I wanted to get into the national team, but because of an injury, I couldn't," 

"I'm so sorry about that," Sanghyuk feels it in his heart, the tug. "I know what its like to want to do something and to have that taken away from you. I'd actually wanted to become a human doctor," 

Taekwoon looks taken aback for a second, clearly not having been expecting Sanghyuk to tell him something willingly. "Ah, but I am extremely happy with what I'm doing right now," 

Sanghyuk tilts his head.

"I'm a singer. You've asked me every single time why I wear the mask. Its so I don't get mauled when I'm in public. Maybe I'm a little famous," Taekwoon sticks his tongue out and gives a cheeky grin.

"Oh, that's why you're such a brat. The fame got to your small brain," Sanghyuk quips, and promptly gets hit on the shoulder. "Although, I doubt you really need the mask. Look at your eyebrows. I'm sure your fans wouldn't recognise you, even if they see you right now," 

Taekwoon looks absolutely scandalised. "Excuse you, my eyebrows are my beauty point," 

"If you say so," 

"I  _ do _ say so,"

"I want to listen to you sing," Sanghyuk says suddenly, surprising even himself. He isn't one to give in to curiosity so easily.

"Give me your phone," Taekwoon extends his hand.

Sanghyuk looks away. "I don't own one," 

"What?" 

"I don't own a phone," 

"How do you survive?" 

"Survival is something I've had to master, sadly," Sanghyuk gives a wry smile. "I'm not from here. I'm from Daejeon," he says, even as he wonders if he's giving away too much. Would it clue Taekwoon in? It shouldn't, right?

Taekwoon frowns. "Sometimes, I really don't understand what you mean,"

"Maybe that's for the best," Sanghyuk answers, downing the rest of his tea. Its luke-warm now, anyway. 

When they leave, and Sanghyuk is thinking of going to check on the animals at the clinic, Taekwoon asks, "Can we meet again?"

Sanghyuk's heart stops beating for a miniscule of a second, but a brilliant smile overtakes his features. "Of course, hyung," and Sanghyuk thinks it's worth the smile on Taekwoon's face.

It's still crowded.

It's still crowded, but he feels less lonely.

  
  
  
  
  


↛↚

  
  
  
  
  


Sanghyuk honestly doesn't know what date it is, what day it is. And he doesn't care much about it, either. At the back of his mind, he's still aware of the time, though. 

He doesn't know when it happened so that such things as a routine stopped mattering too much. He blames Taekwoon for that. The days become weeks and the weeks bleed into months and yet, Taekwoon stays. He stays so much, in fact, that Sanghyuk makes sure to keep some time aside for him. It's nothing special, it's just a little irritating when Taekwoon drops in unexpectedly and his schedule gets messed up. He's not lying.

Sanghyuk learns it isn't just children that Taekwoon likes, but animals as well. The man starts dropping into his work place under the guise of "I missed the cats" or "I wanted to feed the cows" until Sanghyuk tells him he doesn't need excuses to come by. 

He also learns about Taekwoon's friends. There's a man called Hakyeon that Taekwoon likes to complain about. He says the man is a dancer and can move graciously but prefers to cling to people like a sloth to a tree. There's also a Wonshik, somebody Taekwoon holds in high regard because of the kind of music he produces. 

Even having not met these people, he feels like he knows them on a personal level. He is reminded, then, of his own friends Hongbin and Jaehwan, who probably don't even know he's alive and kicking. Its a saddening thought, he doesn't let himself dwell too much on it. This is his life now. 

Sanghyuk has urges at times, to simply sit Taekwoon down and unsheathe the metaphorical sword holding him together and spilling everything out. But is Taekwoon ready for the burden? Is Sanghyuk willing to share? 

"I had —  _ have _ a sister," Sanghyuk drops once, when they're seated on the grass in the park, One Punch and October prancing around. One Punch had found a particularly interesting beetle to catch and destroy.

"Oh? I have three," Taekwoon laughs. "They're a nightmare," 

Sanghyuk feels the guilt creep in at the most inopportune moments, the guilt of taking everything from Taekwoon and not giving enough in return. He hates the feeling. He doesn't exactly know what to call their relationship at the moment, but friendship certainly doesn't begin to cover it. It runs a little deep. It's definitely not platonic enough.

It scares him a little, when he shares anything at all — recently he'd told Taekwoon about his father's business and worried over whether or not Taekwoon had figured everything out — and he doesn't want to feel the way. He wants to give just as much as he takes. Because Taekwoon is starting to become a little important, and that scares him more than just a bit.

Six months into their strange sort of relationship, Sanghyuk invites Taekwoon into his home. He's worried Taekwoon would comment on the bareness of his walls, on the lack of a personal touch, but Taekwoon doesn't. Taekwoon simply knows what to say and what not to, and for that, Sanghyuk is grateful.

"I like it," Taekwoon says as he steps into the small living area. "It's not too big, but for one person, it should be enough. It's comfortable," 

Sanghyuk sighs in relief and his shoulders sag. "Are you trying to flatter me?" He knows how his home looks, after all.

"No, I'm trying to seduce you," Taekwoon cheeks him. "Am I succeeding?"

He really, really doesn't need to try.

Its when Sanghyuk is in the kitchen, preparing the necessary vegetables and other ingredients for dinner that Taekwoon sneaks up on him.

"Thank you, doctor, for letting me into your home," 

Sanghyuk frowns as he drops the carrots he'd picked to wash the dirt off of. "Sanghyuk," he says, holding onto the kitchen counter so hard his knuckles turn white almost.

"I'm sorry?" 

"My name," Sanghyuk turns around and places a hand up on Taekwoon's cheek, "is Sanghyuk. Call me Sanghyuk," 

Taekwoon doesn't open his mouth for just a few seconds, but that is enough time for Sanghyuk to begin his descent into a slow madness. Shit. 

Will he leave? Does he know now? Shit. Shit. Shit. 

And then his thoughts are cut off when there're fingers tilting his head up and then there is a soft press of lips against his own, and he's definitely lost it, he's lost it. 

Taekwoon is  _ kissing _ him.  _ Taekwoon _ is kissing him. Taekwoon is kissing  _ him _ .

"Sanghyuk," Taekwoon breathes into his mouth. "Sanghyuk, Sanghyuk, Sanghyuk," he chants as he places tiny kisses all over his face, his eyelids, his eyebrows, everywhere.

Sanghyuk's heart stops beating — hasn't been beating since Taekwoon's lips fell on his — but it's beating too hard at the same time. Sanghyuk buries his fingers in Taekwoon's hair, sifts through the strands. It's wonderful. It's blissful. It's everything he's ever wanted, and so much more. 

It's when they're washing dishes — Taekwoon had insisted on washing the dishes and Sanghyuk grudgingly agreed to wipe them and put them back in place — that Taekwoon poses his question.

"Sanghyuk," he starts.

"Yes?" 

"Will you be my boyfriend?" 

It's an innocent question, it's also a valid question and Sanghyuk is happy, so, so, happy that he almost drops the plate he's wiping. 

He turns, closes the tap, pulls the rubber gloves off Taekwoon's hands and pulls him into an embrace. "Of course I will," 

That night is the first time Sanghyuk hears Taekwoon sing. It's beyond what he's ever imagined. Taekwoon's voice is almost always soft when he speaks, but when he sings, it is powerful. It is emotive. It is everything right. 

Sanghyuk loves it.

But he's also frightened. He cannot shake the negativity that pools in at times. Because Sanghyuk is dangerous. He's extremely dangerous. What will he do if one day, Taekwoon is taken away from him? How can he be expected to deal with it?

"I wear a hoodie all the time because I'm trying to make sure nobody can see my face," Sanghyuk mentions lightly as he's sorting out the medicines at the clinic into neat little boxes, Taekwoon playing with one of the stray cats they had taken in recently.

"Why is that so important?" Taekwoon doesn't stop rubbing behind the cat's ears.

"Because even when I changed everything else about me, my face has remained the same. They cannot know where I am," 

"Who are they?" Taekwoon treads carefully. 

"People who have put a price on my head and are ready to kill me the second they lay their eyes on me," Sanghyuk wonders if that's clear enough.

"Sanghyuk," Taekwoon calls quietly. "Did you do something bad?"

"If bringing somebody to justice is bad, then yes. I have committed a crime," Because honestly, that's how it feels. As if he's committed a crime solely by witnessing and testifying against the real criminal.

"That isn't bad," Taekwoon cradles his face. "That's not bad, Sanghyuk,"

"Then why am I the one suffering, hyung? Why am I having to hide?"

Sanghyuk realises he's falling hard and deep and there's nothing he can do to stop it. Taekwoon is amazing, everything bright and better than he will ever be. He simply doesn't understand what makes Taekwoon stay. 

Taekwoon finds out he owns an iPod and secretly keys in some songs that when Sanghyuk listens to, is beyond surprised because Taekwoon hadn't been kidding when he said he was a singer. Sanghyuk had assumed he might have been a small one. Not someone who had actually recorded songs. He also finds out his stage name is Leo.

"Leo? Really? What sort of a stage name is that?"

"Shut up. I like it,"

"Oh, it makes sense. You belong to the cat family. I get it now,"

"Sanghyuk!"

"Yes, that's my name, hyung. Oh!"

Oh, what?"

"Now I know why you said Le Taekwoon the first time we met!"

"God, you must have thought I was a whacko,"

"I still do,"

"I hate you,"

"Sure,"

He starts telling him things, small things, big things. He wants to. He tells him about the time he broke his hand trying to rescue a cat stuck in a tree, he tells him about the time he almost got killed because he had read his sister's secret diary, he tells him he misses his mother's  _ galbitang _ , he tells him he wishes to talk to his father. 

He isn't sure what Taekwoon assumes about his family, but he has in inkling he believes them dead. They're not. He just doesn't know where they are, and vice versa. It's for the best, yes, but he still misses them like a phantom limb. 

It's one of those times when he's missing them and sifting through his meager collection of their photographs that he realises something. He hasn't any of Taekwoon's and he vows to change that.

He's on Taekwoon's case the second he enters his home.

"I want to photograph you," Sanghyuk says in lieu of greeting, helping Taekwoon out of his coat and draping it on the coat hanger.

"Hello to you too, Sanghyuk," Taekwoon kisses his cheek as he walks in and plops down onto the couch. 

"I want to photograph you, hyung," Sanghyuk stands in front of him, hands on his hips. 

"I just came back from work and I look like I haven't showered in like, three days," 

"Have you really not?" It's a valid question. Taekwoon forgets at times, quoting he's too busy to even look at the time.

"Of course I have!" 

"Well?" A raised eyebrow.

"Okay, maybe I didn't shower today as of yet,"

Sanghyuk shakes his head. "I don't care. I cannot smell you through pictures anyway," he shrugs.

Taekwoon throws him a look. "I want to look good in your photographs, though," 

Sanghyuk sighs. He knows there is no point in arguing. "Fine. Go take a shower and I'll see if there's anything in my wardrobe that might fit your small body and not swallow it," 

"You're so mean, Sanghyuk," Taekwoon pouts. "You're lucky you're so cute," 

"Only you can find somebody this big cute,"

Sanghyuk is in the living room, he's arranging the carpet and the lighting in a way that it can flow the way he wants it to. 

"Sanghyuk," Taekwoon calls. "What is this?" He walks out, holding on to what is a suit of sorts, only he isn't entirely sure if it counts as one. He doesn't want to call it hideous, but it kind of is.

Sanghyuk looks up from where he's arranging the carpet artistically. "Ah, that's what you're going to wear. Its something my sister designed,"

Taekwoon cannot say no to that. He grudgingly changes into it and silently wonders why its part white, part brown, part waist length, part mid thigh. It's honestly the weirdest thing he's ever put on, and he's put on some strange stage costumes over the years. 

Sanghyuk is meticulous in what he does. Strict, maybe, but he calls himself a perfectionist. If wants something a particular way, he will have it that way. When he looks up to find Taekwoon standing in the doorway to his bedroom, his breath catches midway. 

"You look amazing, hyung. Just like a model," Sanghyuk breathes.

"Says the taller one with that beautiful body," Taekwoon mumbles as he stretches himself out on the carpet and hooks one leg at a right angle, an arm supporting the weight of his from behind. 

"Oh, I'd put you out of business if only my face could be in front of the camera and not behind it," 

"I agree," Taekwoon begrudges. 

Sanghyuk settles into his life better as time passes, and he owes it all to Taekwoon. It's thanks to him that Sanghyuk can bring himself to appreciate the rain again. He accepts that the night from five years prior shouldn't keep him living in the past. Instead, he learns to slowly try to move past it.

It isn't easy, when he still dreams about the events, all in varying degrees of horror even on his best nights. If only he hadn't witnessed the murder of that poor girl. If only he hadn't stood up against that bastard of a politician's equally bastardized son. If only those people weren't still on the search for Han Sanghyuk. 

But, all of it has transpired, and all he can do is to learn from it and move past it. He's yet to tell Taekwoon the whole story. For now, he knows Taekwoon believes his family is simply gone from the world, dead. He's wanted to approach the topic, but it's still sensitive and he isn't sure how to go about doing it.

If there's one thing Sanghyuk is certain about, it's that he's letting more and more of his guard down around Taekwoon. And he isn't worried. It's a little liberating, if he's being honest.

"I have this work party. Will you accompany me?" 

"Whatever will I do over there?"

"Meet Hakyeon and Wonshik? They've been wanting to meet the person who's been monopolizing all my time, their words, not mine," 

What Sanghyuk isn't expecting, however, is the scale of the work party that Taekwoon is making him attend until they're already at the venue. Taekwoon had told him to dress dapper, and he'd put on his best coat and suit. Taekwoon had also said to Sanghyuk that since his manager had apparently liked the photographs of Taekwoon in his sister's suit, he was going to borrow that for the event.

Sanghyuk isn't exactly tuning in to Taekwoon's chatter as he watches the venue approach from the tinted windows of the expensive car they're seated in. There are a few cars lined in front of theirs, and the sheer extravaganza of the entryway is taking him aback, but there's the slight acidic feeling of panic beginning to climb. 

The car rolls to a stop right in front of the archway that is probably at least twenty feet high into the air, a spiralling arch of gold and white, pillars and turrets and people in impeccable clothing, some holding mikes, some holding clipboards, and a lot of people holding up cameras, posed right at their car, ready to snap away a million pictures a second, and it dawns on Sanghyuk.

"You're just going to be eye candy for the night," Taekwoon quips as he steps out of the car and holds a hand out for Sanghyuk.

Sanghyuk isn't sure when he's out of the safety of the car, but he is, and he's standing next to Taekwoon who's smiling at him and telling him to move, but he cannot. 

His palms are sweaty. His head is starting to ache. His throat is clogging up. He wants to speak, to shout, to run away, but he's stuck to the ground; unmoving.

"Come on, Hakyeon is already here," Taekwoon tries to pull him towards the red carpet.

There is a red carpet. A red carpet. A bloody red carpet.

"This isn't a small work party, is it?" Sanghyuk isn't sure why that's the question that makes it out when he's got a thousand more important things he wants to say.

"It was supposed to be a surprise," Taekwoon smiles.

"Hyung," Sanghyuk grabs onto Taekwoon's arm like its life support. It is, too, at the moment. He's seconds away from bursting an artery. 

"They need us to move, Sanghyuk. I really want you to enjoy tonight," 

"Hyung, no. I cannot," 

Taekwoon turns to face him, a small frown in between his eyebrows. "It's not a big deal, Sanghyuk. Nobody will find you. I will make sure of that," 

"No, hyung. You don't understand. I cannot do this. They will see me. They will come for me. They will come for  _ you _ !" Sanghyuk is not aware of how loud his voice is. "My name is Han Sanghyuk. It's Han Sanghyuk,"

His name rings out in the silence that has fallen over the area, as if every single soul is holding their breath out. And there is nothing he can do. Everybody knows the name of the kid who lost everything and had to be taken into witness protection.

It's over.

It's over.

There's a moment of silence, a few minutes that Taekwoon takes to process everything and then, "Oh shit, oh Sanghyuk," there's clear panic on Taekwoon's face. There is also a dawning understanding. Taekwoon tries to maneuver Sanghyuk, shield him.

Sanghyuk cannot hear a thing. The breath rushes out of his lungs. There's a deafening silence, a numbness to everything else. But his thoughts are running a mile a minute. 

He knows Taekwoon knows. Taekwoon  _ knows _ . But that's not all. It's not just Taekwoon. Everyone can see him. Everyone will know. They will know. They will take him away. They will take Taekwoon away. They will take Taekwoon away.  _ No _ . No, no, no. They cannot. Oh, no. How will he survive? He cannot. He  _ cannot _ . 

It's too late. It's too damn late.

It's too late because there are hundreds of cameras flashing collectively. 

Everything he's worked for, it's gone in a flash.

It's gone.

It's just gone. 

**Author's Note:**

> In case it wasn't clear enough, Sanghyuk is the one who's actually forbidden to date and not Taekwoon who is a celebrity because Sanghyuk is under witness protection. His name wasn't supposed to be leaked, but media had been tampered with when the case had been going on five years ago, and his and his family's lives were under threat. He was taken away and given a new life, a new name, a new past. But he still couldn't move past his own life, obviously. 
> 
> I hope I did not disappoint.
> 
> Do leave me comments and kudos if you like it enough, I would appreciate!


End file.
